My daughter Crystal stated, “Mum, if you go to heaven, not that I want you to go to heaven yet, if anything happens to you we don’t know your history or anything about you Mum.” I was in my 40’s at this time. “Oh yes, you’re right Crystal, I understand.” I thought about it and said, “Yes I know what you mean, but unfortunately I had to put it aside as I had to continue my studies to develop and grow to get my qualifications to become more stable and successful for myself and my family.”
Until my dear Carlos died and my whole world turned upside down. I remember him saying, “Do it Vee, if you want to.” I began to pray and asked God to help me to decide. I then began to think of the idea of writing. The feelings became stronger and the voice within me said, “Do it, you will be ok.” I have heard this still soft voice before and it resonated with me. I felt joyful and a peaceful sense of warmth and contentment came over me. I started praying for guidance and knowledge.
I didn’t know anything about writing a book ever. I had to totally depend on God even more than before. From start to finish it took me 7 months to write this book. There were a lot of shame, hurt and fighting within myself and many questions I asked God, “Why have I got to write this part of my life?” A calmness and a strong feeling of sadness, tears rolling down my face, was a usual thing. My heart pounding with answers but what will people think of me now.
“Write it, because it will help others.” I felt this soft clear voice within. The tears rolling down my face as I wipe my cheeks, the more the tears flow. “Ok Father, whatever you want me to write I will be obedient.” The journey wasn’t easy but I depended on God and continued to trust Him always. This is how this book came into being.